When I was about 32 I started seeing signs of my own aging. It showed up in the form of gray hair, and at first, I wasn’t too freaked out about it because it wasn’t a whole lot.
But by the time I was 44, it had grown in all around my face, and I wasn’t gonna have it. I went straight to the salon and got a dye job.
But at the same time, I realized that as I was getting older, I was becoming happier, healthier, wiser, and more authentically me. And as I talked to my friends, I realized it was happening to them too.
We were realizing that getting older meant getting better—not worse. And then I realized I was covering the very sign of my own aging, and right then I stopped dyeing my hair and I never looked back.
And guess what happened right after that? I was approached on the street by a casting agent and asked to model for a worldwide fashion campaign.
It was like the universe telling me: stop covering up, embrace your age, and here’s what happens. Your beauty becomes visible to the world.
The same thing can happen for you. A great place to start is by transforming the negative ideas about women and age that society has planted in your head.
When you do, you will feel and see the difference!
1- Remember how you felt about getting older when you were a kid!
Remember how excited and proud you felt about getting older when you were little?
When we were kids, we’d claim every last bit of age that we possibly could—“I’m nine and a half!” “I’m seven and three quarters!” When we were little, getting “older” meant getting “bigger.”
As in more knowledge, more independence, more mastery, more adventures. Guess what? It still does. As we get older, our capacities expand.
We all knew that truth when we were kids. Remind yourself!
2- Re-draw your graph of life.
You know, that one that’s in the shape of a mountain. Supposedly, life goes uphill until we hit this imaginary peak called “the prime of life,” and then it’s all downhill from there.
But who drew that picture? It certainly doesn’t match my experience or that of the women I know.
We just keep expanding! My graph of life feels more like an uphill journey all the way. So I re-drew my own picture. You can too.
3- Look at your language.
Language is powerful. The words we use to describe ourselves carry all sorts of emotional associations we don’t even think about.
But words matter. When I started calling my “gray hair” silver, all of a sudden my feelings about it—and what I was communicating to the world about my own aging—totally changed.
“Gray hair” is drab, a drag; something thousands of advertisements have spent thousands of hours telling us to cover up. “Silver” is shiny, precious, beautiful, and a prize.
Pay attention to how you talk about yourself! The tiniest changes in language can totally reshape the way you see yourself—and the way the world sees you.
Give yourself the value and recognition that you deserve—and you’ll find that reflected back to you tenfold.