For Amanda, life in her 20s & 30s was stressful. She worried so much about her kids and the way the world was perceiving her.
But at age 40, she feels stronger, more confident in her body, and she has a whole new theory for what really makes people look attractive. Watch Amanda’s video for her full story!
0:10 Therapeutic riding horses
0:30 How she got her scar
1:00 Why she now embraces her scar
1:22 “Let’s make it beautiful”
1:40 Turning 40
2:15 Being centered
2:40 The worries of your younger years
3:20 New discoveries about herself
4:40 Embracing smile lines
5:44 Amanda’s theory on joy
6:20 Embracing life’s moments
I’m Amanda Rogers. I’m 43. I was living in the Midwest for five years, and I was taking care of these horses, therapeutic riding horses, and I was helping this young woman start a therapeutic riding center. And so, I got to go horseback riding and it was amazing.
And I was leading this one-horse cowboy out to the barn, and it was hunting season, and he hadn’t been out the day before, and someone shot a gun off in the distance.
He reared up, pulled the lead line out, pulled away, kicked me in the eye, broke my lateral orbital bone right there, and I still have the little scar. But it’s those scars that make us who we are. And then crushed my arm.
So I had to have this lower forearm fasciotomy, and I had this horrible scar. And you can kind of see that it, like, goes all along. And oh my gosh, I hated this scar.
I would wear long-sleeved shirts. I would hold my arm up against…and I actually saw a video of myself talking to people like this, protecting my scar.
When I became aware of it, I realized, “I don’t want. I don’t want any part of me to be something that causes me shame.” And so, I thought, “Well, I can’t do anything about the scar. It’s there.”
I mean, you can reduce it, but I didn’t want to go through that process. And I thought, “Well, let’s make it beautiful. Let’s take our scars and make them beautiful, right? I mean, it’s what we all kind of do on the inside.”
So I did it to my outsides. I got this tattoo last summer.
I love being in my 40s. I think I’m surprised a little at how much I love being in my 40s. Like, turning 40 was nothing. I went running with my friend when I was 40 right before her 40th birthday.
And we looked at each other and we were like, “This is 40? This is awesome. We’re stronger, we’re more centered.”
Our friendship had gotten from the place where, you know, you’re so focused on your kids and on yourself in your 20s and 30s, and then 40 came and it was like, “Oh, hi. Hi, friends. Hi, rest of the world.”
It was just much more centered and easy. It’s much easier. It’s easier to be 40.
I have so much more gratitude now. Like, I look in the mirror and I think, like, “I have so much joy in my life. I have so many people that I love,” and I feel like my face reflects that. As opposed to just really being worried all the time as a younger person.
In my 20s, I feel like I was worried about how people perceived me.
I think the judgment, the level of judgment that I had about my body and about my face and about my role in society kept me kind of locked up in this box of not wanting to appear sexy in case somebody took me up on the offer.
And now that I’ve come into my 40s, I’m really not worried about that at all, I don’t think. I don’t think anybody is gonna take me up on anything that I’m not willing to offer.
I think, like, having confidence in your body and discovering that I love to run, not only if someone chases me with a sharp object. I got a black belt in Tae Kwon Do.
And discovering that my body was actually my own and that with practice and discipline I could do, really, anything.
From being this very gangly, sort of just skinny, not strong person. It’s like getting guns.
My mother took me aside and said, “Darling, I think we should share a little botox.”
And I was like, “Mommy? What?” And I have a scar on my forehead. I have a scar; I fell face-first on the pavement because I was so gangly and tall that I didn’t get my hands out and landed on my face.
And so, I had this scar and it was becoming this wrinkle. And I was young; I was 24, 23. And so, my mom wanted me to go and get botox so that my scar wouldn’t wrinkle anymore. And we did a couple of times.
We went through a couple of times and it sort of made me look at my face a different way. I was like, “Ooh, something’s wrong. Something is wrong with my face.”
And then, years went by and I sort of, you know, criticize myself every day as one does looking in the mirror. And I looked and I saw these, the smile lines. And I remember consciously thinking, “I really don’t want to get rid of those.” I like the lines on my face that are happy lines.
I was actually in San Diego yesterday and I was working behind the camera for one of our company video shoots.
And I told them, I said, “Hey, tomorrow, I’m gonna be doing this fun thing for BOOM Cosmetics.” And Michelle, who I worked for, reaches into her purse and pulls out her BOOMSTICK.
And she’s like, “Oh my god. I love this. I keep this with me wherever I go.” And she’s, you know, in her 60s and glowy and fabulous.
I love how easy it is. And I love that, like, the glowy stick, the pinkish-reddish one, it works for everything. Like, you can use it on your lips, you can use it on your cheeks, you can use it…I like to put a little bit here just as kind of a highlight.
I think it makes you look a little bit like you’ve been out in the sun, which of course nobody would ever do.
I have a theory about joy sneaking out of your face.
Like, every once in a while, you’ll look at someone and you’ll see something truly authentic about them, and even if they’re not the most typically beautiful person, you can see, like, joy sneaking out of their face. And I think that that…it radiates.
And I think, you know, we live through pain and we live through joy, and we absorb all these experiences. And they do, they radiate out of your face.
The people who can embrace the things that happen in life and find happiness and find peace, I think all of those people have beautiful faces.
Whether they’re mathematically beautiful faces or beautifully lined faces, you know, beautifully silly faces. I think these are the people I’m attracted to now. Like, just beauty sneaking out of your face.